it's 2am. I haven't fall asleep yet.

I am still mourning for something that, I didn't get to do.

that's a saying that if it's not urs, no matter how hard u fight for it, it turns to no avail.

I believe so.

not like Im an extreme pessimist or what, but i realize that those people, the most happy-go-lucky people aka the most cincai people, they get the most things in return.

Things like jobs, luxury items, yada yada the list goes on and on.

it might be coincidence, or psychologically we call it accidental reinforcement. But, maybe the more u opt for one thing, the further the one thing may be gone.

I just experience that.

oh well, group it under my act of childish-ness again, im just plain stupid.

I just don't wana live my life in the way u wanted me to. I hate to live up to ur expectations. I have my own aspiration. own passion. ideas. Don't just ruin everything for me. I'm not obliged to help u to fulfill what u have missed out when u were young. we are two different entities.

off the record.

I just dyed my hair. spontaneous hair saloon, with bunch of friends.


my hair color is just....bright. Makes me look old too. hehe, bad choice of hair color.

time to sleep. morning class molo. nity.


ps: that's my highschool picture in the background! =)